Wahi Pana Poem

Pupukea: Shark’s Cove

As we trek towards Shark’s Cove

the chaos of the city starts to melt away,

and I start to feel free from the

manacles of my mind.

The green trees of Mililani Town,

and the curves of Haleiwa Bridge

let me know we’re almost there.

I feel my heart grow.

Atop Shark’s Cove I hear her

call me to come in and visit.

We make our way down the rusty jagged a’a,

protecting the cove from the weak of heart.

It’s cold, and I have chicken skin,

but I feel warm inside because she envelopes me with

a warm hug, caressing my skin as

I glide through the water.

Her children, the yellow tang and striped kihikihi, greet me

as I slowly make my way into her heart.

The yellow, blues, and purples of the reef mesmerize me,

while the dark ominous caves, hiding the sleeping beast, are left to the brave.

The blue uhu and his many cousins

crunch and munch on the Pupukea’s dining reef.

Then, I hear my own stomach grumble and

the musubi in the cooler pull me out of the water and back on shore.

Animoto of Kaloko Park

To see Animoto please click on this link. Kaloko Park

Inside Out:Strategies for Teaching Writing Chapter 9

What is Good Writing?

"Quality you know what it is, yet you don't know what it is." Many people often feel this way when it comes to any art because art is so subjective. What moves one person doesn't always move another and so the art of grading writing is not a simple task that we as writing teachers must do.

According to this chapter the first job of the writing teacher is to find good writing in students' worst writing. They suggest that we skip the criticism and encourage or focus on areas that will do the most good.

Two attributes to good writing:

1. Interesting to read

• has voice of author
• has movement
• has sense of humor
• informative
• inventive: says something new or something old in a new way

2. Technically skillful

• aware of audience
• uses detail, but not too much
• uses words that sing: rich in imagery, rhythm and repetition, filled with word play
• has form
• makes sense
• observes convention of mechanics and usage (small portion of what good writing is)
• Its what you and others like.

When grading or evaluating writing there are three questions to consider:

• What do you think? Is it honest?
• Does it say enough?
• Does it say more than it needs?

As a high school English teacher overburdened with stacks of essays to grade everyday, I have difficulty focusing on the positive in my students' writing. I usually focus on the parts that they need to improve upon: generally focusing on their ideas and organization. Ideally I would remark on what they did well, but when crunched for time and so many essays to grade, I typically just take the time to write what they need to fix. I do note that this is not a good habit and hope to be more mindful of looking at what they do well.

On the other hand I am not sure if I can "skip the criticism" because I feel without it how else can the meet the standards or make their writing better? How else will the become interesting or skillful writers. I also don't like to think of my comments as criticisms, but suggestions on what they can do to make their writing better, keeping the three questions at the end of the chapter in mind.

Inside Out: Strategies for Teaching Writing Ch. 5

The J

Why the Journal Works?

1. It's an invitation to let anything in your mind out.

2. Less structure, more subjective= more inviting.

3. Topics are student centered.

4. Intended for audience of one: the writer.

5. Opportunity to connect with teacher/student.

What's in it for teacher?

1. Tells teachers how students are doing.

2. Keeps you connected w/students lives.

4 different types of journals

1. Writer's notebook: depository of ideas

2. Class Journal: for classwork

3. Dialogue Journal: for classmates to respond to each other's thinking and work.

4. Project Journal: To keep track of project process that extend for several weeks.

• group work
• novels and plays
• research papers
• reflection for end of big projects

Suggestions for Using the Journal

• Keep journal for yourself and write alongside with students.
• Stagger due dates.
• Establish time to write in journals.
• Insert personal touches such as cartoons or news articles that go with student content.

Response and Evaluation

Responses are more important than grading because it provides students with real feedback that they can use to improve writing. Responses should:

• Encourage student to share with class.
• Suggest topics.
• Be honest.
• Avoid empty comments: interesting, nice, or good idea.

Evaluation should be based more on completion and the following three ideas:

• Is it truthful?
• Is it thoughtful?
• Is it thorough?

Ways to grade:

• plus, check, or minus
• 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5 Scale

Perhaps do not grade or respond at all and hold students accountable by having partner's check and respond.

Other things to consider when implementing Journal

• Do not publish or share any student work without permission.
• Don't allow for R rated content that is morally compromising in journals.
• Allow for confidential pages by having students fold pages they do not want to be read.
• Look for something good in journals that rub you the wrong way or you do not like at all.
• Avoid sarcasm.
• Take a break from the journal if it gets stale or burdensome.

Reflection:

I have always used journals off and on in the past and always felt ambivalent or unsure about how to use them. Last SY I used a journal for my expository writing class for formative assignments we did inside and outside of class. Many students commented on how that they liked how it kept them organized and how easier it was to carry them than a binder. By the end of the quarter or semester, my students were impressed that we had covered so much in just the quarter or semester because many of them have never wrote through a whole composition book before, let alone half a composition book. It gave many of my students a sense of pride and place to look back on and say, "Wow I wrote that." I also liked how it created a sense of routine in the classroom. The students I had in English 10 had a binder instead of a journal and for the students I had in my expository writing class and English 10 thought it was better to have the journal rather than the binder. Therefore, I do plan on continuing the use of the journal this upcoming SY in all my classes.

I was happy to see that many of the suggestions the authors give on how to use the journal in the classroom were ideas that I had already implemented in my own classroom. It's nice to see the routines and rituals you set up in your classroom reinforced in professional development you take or reading that you read.

Narrative Poem

English 100

I was an average and sometimes failing student

—uninspired.

I looked at my report card.

Japanese I D

History 101 D

Math 101 D

English 100 A

I felt stupid—a knot of regret grew inside of me

because I knew I was smart and that I could do better.

I harvested an A for English 100 from Mrs. Kapur.

Her seasoned eyes were piercing,

weighing every word that came out of our mouths

English 100 with Mrs. Kapur was English boot camp.

Is banning text or speeches ever justified?

What constitutes sexual harassment?

Does affirmative action provide equal opportunities?

We pondered oceans of questions every day.

Anyone can have an opinion,

but are you able to have the

finesse and craft to convince

people that your argument

is what matters?

Mrs. Kapur pushed, prodded and planted

All the tools I needed

to navigate through the deepest ditch of my mind,

so that I might find the light.

After my first semester,

I never got a grade lower than a B

and even made the Dean’s List twice

thanks to English 100.

Research Question

Why do parents become less involved with students as they move up to the secondary level? What are some strategies that teachers can use to facilitate more parental involvement with their teens' writing/education?

Critical Teaching Narrative

English 100

For most of my school career I was an average and sometimes a failing student. I was uninspired by most academic content and I did assignments and took classes just to pass and move along in a direction: what direction I wasn’t too sure. I knew I was supposed to go to college, so I could get a good job, and perhaps a better life than what my parents had, who had no college degree and worked as blue collar workers at hotels and construction sites. My parents’ American Dream of moving to the United States from the Philippines lay heavily on my shoulders and the weight of it stifled me.

It was the end of my first semester at Kapiolani Community College and I looked at my report card.

Japanese I D

History 101 D

Math 101 D

English 100 A

Not only were most of my grades bad, but I received a letter stating I was to be put on academic probation and if my grades continued as such for the following semester, KCC would no longer allow me to attend their school. I felt stupid—a knot of regret grew inside of me because I was smarter than what my grades indicated. How else would I have received an A for English 100 from Mrs. Kapur—notoriously known for being one of the hardest English teachers on campus? Whenever a classmate asked who I had for English and told them I had Mrs. Kapur, the response would always be, “She’s hard.”

Mrs. Kapur was a tall, thin, dark-skinned Indian woman sporting a cropped haircut. I rarely saw her smile in class and she always seemed to have a serious demeanor. We read, wrote, and discussed often in her class. Up until then I felt I had never been in an English class before despite the fact that I had an English class every year since I was in kindergarten. English 100 with Mrs. Kapur felt like English boot camp, and she was making up for all the other years of fake English classes I had taken.

Most of what we read with Mrs. Kapur were argumentative texts—far from my memories of Beowulf, The Crucible, or The Great Gatsby. These texts dealt with real issues of the day: Is banning text or speech ever justified, what constitutes sexual harassment, does affirmative action provide equal opportunity? Issues that I was never asked to ponder, but often talked about with my friends.

I can still remember her asking, “Are these writers’ arguments valid? What evidence do they provide? Do you agree with her? Why? Why? Why?” Her eyes were piercing as she watched us respond to her questions, weighing every word that came out of our mouths, looking for holes in our argument, and asking us to dig deeper. At first many of us were intimidated by her no nonsense attitude and many of us were afraid to speak our minds. She would often find a wall of silence for a few moments before some brave soul broke the ice. Due to the nature of the topics we read, one couldn’t help but express his or her thoughts on such seductive subjects.

I never had a teacher ask me to think about my reading and writing so much; and though it was not easy, I loved the challenges she provided. She pushed me and my peers to not just have opinions about what went on in the world, but to be more grounded and confident with our opinions by providing adequate support for them. I learned in her class that anyone can have an opinion, but are you able to have the finesse and craft to convince people that your argument is what matters?

While I was taking Mrs. Kapur’s English class, my friend Lenny Brimer introduced me to KRS-1’s album, Ghetto Music: The Blue Print of Hip-Hop. I was a big fan of hip-hop or what some people called rap or gang-banging music, but what KRS-1 provided lyrically was different because he questioned authority, he questioned society, and he questioned education. I found that hip hop was not just ghetto music, but music that could create arguments as well as change. It was uncanny how my academic and personal worlds were colliding for the first time. KRS-1 brought up the same types of questions the authors that Mrs. Kapur had us read.

The connection between academia and the world were becoming clearer and more evident the more I learned. Reading and writing were not just assignments my English teacher asked me to do, but were tools that helped me navigate and create change in the world. After this discovery I was able to find how everything I learned in class related to the world that I lived in. If only I had learned this earlier. My earlier years of education might have been more productive, more inspiring. I suppose it is better to learn late than never.

I felt empowered and smart in Mrs. Kapur’s class. After my first semester, I never got a grade lower than a B and even made the Dean’s List twice at KCC. Mrs. Kapur provided me with the tools I needed to decipher arguments, to make my writing clear and concise. I now have the power to convince and persuade anyone with the right argument, and most importantly the confidence of knowing that I can do well in anything I set my mind to. I only hope that I am able to empower my students the same way Mrs. Kapur has done for me.